Joe Budden has made plenty of headlines for his opinions on music, but he has now stirred controversy for comments on a more serious topic: domestic violence.
Appearing on the BagFuel podcast, the rapper turned podcaster spoke about the double standards when it comes to men being subjected to domestic violence in relationships, and recounted his own experiences as a victim.
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“I was in a domestic violence relationship, but we men, so we don’t know that. We don’t know that if somebody just gets up and starts [saying], ‘Hey, you got a text I didn’t like. I’m burning all your clothes’ — that’s domestic violence,” he said.
“So when I attempt to stop you from burning my clothes and I hurt your wrist by mistake, and you say, ‘Oh shit!’ It’s like… now it’s something new to defend. But what we don’t know as men is: we can get abused.”
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Budden detailed other messy disputes with ex-girlfriends, saying: “I had an incident one time where me and a lady broke up, and I took the phone back that I bought and was actively paying the bill for.
“Charges. Charges brought up. I didn’t know that [was stealing] so that was a lesson like, ‘Oh, okay. If there’s a dispute, you can’t tough the phone, even if you bought or got it.'”
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He added: “I’ve been in another incident where [I had] to leave [my] house. It’s your house, you pay the bills, you paying her bills, but you have to go.
“And that’s a tough lesson for Black men. And if you’ve been in that enough, you learn that the best way to keep yourself safe is to leave.”
Joe Budden received little sympathy on social media, though, with many taking issue with his remarks considering his own history of alleged domestic violence.
“I am in no way discounting that men experience DV. However, it is incredibly difficult to listen to a man, who has a past of being violent with women. Picks fights with women on social media, etc. talk about what is called reactive abuse,” one critic wrote on The Shade Room‘s above Instagram post.
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“Zero accountability as usual. And hes also showing his pattern of abuse by recounting several different times and incidents. Wrong messenger. Cuz this ain’t it.”
Another said: “OH PLEASE he’s done wayyyy more than just snatching a phone or grabbing a wrist. Tahiry beeeeeen told us about him,” while someone else echoed that sentiment by saying: “Clearly he’s well versed in this topic because he has soooo many incidents to use as examples. Whew chile the lack of accountability.”
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A fourth user referenced the disturbing allegations made by Budden’s ex Esther Baxter that he caused her to have a miscarriage: “It’s never their fault. This man literally killed his unborn baby by sitting on his pregnant ex girlfriend’s stomach during a violent altercation. How on earth is that self defense?”
The “Pump It Up” rapper’s volatile relationship with ex Tahiry Jose resurfaced earlier this year when the former Love & Hip Hop star accused him of being a hypocrite after he condemned Diddy’s videotaped assault of Cassie.
“FOH, who??? The irony. This is so triggering!!!” Tahiry wrote. “I remember joey throwing me down a flight of stairs dragging me back into the house & me having to talk him into letting me go. FOR HOURS!!!!
“This whole shit took me out. So hard to watch. So sorry for Cassie and every other woman who is currently going through it or has ever gone through it. It’s tough.”
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Budden denied the allegations, calling Tahiry a liar and a “gold digger.”
“Tahiry you are a lying, failed gold digger that has abused, targeted and manipulated many men,” he responded. “Outside of me you lack an identity which is why you’ve tried desperately to attach yourself to me for over 15 years. The last time i saw you i purchased a mattress from you and you were happy you made the sale, you were fine then.
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“There was that night after Starlets 6 years ago when you invited me inside your new place, you were fine then too. You were on my body your entire last stint on Love & HipHop and tried your best to disrespect my son’s mother in the process, i had to ask producers to keep you away from us like the cancer you are!! Yet you continue to slight my name online because… it’s your identity.”
He added: “I don’t speak to you or about you because it’s low vibrational. You’re a low level Dyckman con woman that’s been lying about (you already know) for ages. I pray you heal and move on one day, hopefully this is our last exchange…. Prayers to all real victims.”
