Jidenna is repenting for the way he used to treat the women in his life, admitting he robbed some of them of “their baby-making years.”
The conversation occurred on the premiere episode of the podcast, What’s Underneath: Masculinity, published on Thursday (November 9).
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“I robbed some women of their baby-making years, dragging them along. They built me up,” he began. “Look at me now! And look at them! If you were a creative, I folded you into my artwork. If you were in my artwork, I gave you a job. I gave you a job, I mastered your life. I gave you a house, food. Everything you needed, I protected and provided for you. I did what men are ‘supposed’ to do.”
He continued: “I remember different quotes I said. Just really manipulative things like, ‘No one is gonna love you the way I do.’ Oh my god! I’m ashamed of it! and that’s what makes me angry when I see my brothers do that. We can’t do that to the women who have done so much for us to even exist. And I saw myself for the first time — all the things I’m saying now? Woo, horror.
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“Bit by bit I stripped myself of my former self and I swore that the next relationship that I would get in, I would work as hard at love as I have worked in my career,” he concluded.
Watch the full episode below:
Upon releasing his album ME YOU & GOD in May, Jidenna spoke to HipHopDX about the inspiration behind the deeply romantic and sexually-charged lovefest. In the midst of his time freely engaging with multiple women, the singer fell in love with a “beautiful companion” who went on to become one of the main protagonists of the album and a key ingredient of his songwriting.
“I literally met a woman who I knew instantly that I was gonna ride with her, she was gonna be a companion, and we were gonna ride the saddle, you know? I just knew it,” he recalled. “So that process, from going from an amazing hoe phase in 2019 to 2020 where I’m trying to date a little more intentionally, then landing with this beautiful companion. It was what I was going through [that inspired the album].”
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Asked whether he’s still seeing the woman who helped inspire the album, Jidenna laughed and replied: “Oh yeah. Thank God I am. This would be a tough rollout if I weren’t.”
Among the topics explored on ME YOU & GOD is polyamory — a form of ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy that involves having romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time — which is something Jidenna has practiced in the past.
On the track “SWEETBiTTERS,” he has an open and honest conversation with the woman he loves about a previous triad polyamory relationship, which starts because he smells the lingering perfume of an ex in his building’s elevator.
While some opposed his opinions on non-monogamous relationships back in 2019, a lot of people appeared to be onboard with his outlook on sexual liberation and the non-traditional union. But “SWEETBiTTERS” wasn’t made in response to that; it was Jidenna displaying growth, showing unbridled honesty and realizing he needed to lay it all out there in order for his current relationship to thrive.
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“I was in an elevator and I could smell the perfume of one of the women I had been with; it was very specific,” he explained. “And so I went into the apartment and talked to the woman who would eventually be my partner now, and I told her the story. I was like, ‘I haven’t told you the full story and I need to tell you what it was like for me in my last polyamorous triad, or triplo, whatever you wanna call it.’”
