After it was revealed that the now infamous “syrup” (promethazine and codeine mixed with soda or juice) may have played a part in Pimp C’s death, Lil Wayne is speaking out on his love affair with the potentially lethal drink.

In recent months, Weezy F. Baby has been seen with a styrofoam cup—on stage and in videos—leading many to wonder about the contents inside. In a recent interview with MTV, Wayne alluded to having a syrup addiction.

“Everybody wants me to stop all this and all that. It ain’t that easy.” He went on to add that trying to kick the habit feels like “death.”

“It ain’t that easy — feels like death in your stomach when you stop doing that shit. You gotta learn how to stop, you gotta go through detox. You gotta do all kinds of stuff. Like I said, I’m a selfish-ass n—a. I feel like everything I do is successful and productive. It’s gonna be hard to tell me I’m slipping. It’s hard to sit and tell a nigga ‘Stop.’ ‘Fuck, how can we tell this nigga to stop when every fucking thing he do is successful? This nigga is making progress. He just went and talked to kids and that shit was amazing.’ Feel me? So what am I doing wrong?“

After his arrest in Arizona on drugs and weapons, members of his entourage and even his mother have been urging Wayne to curb—or eliminate—his use of syrup. However, the calls may be falling on deaf ears and may actually be pushing Weezy F. to further consume the substance.

“It’s inspiring me, but I’mma tell them now they better stop,” he said in the interview. “‘Cause they [are trying to] push me off the edge. If I jump, I’m taking the world with me. That’s my word.”

Promethazine with codeine is typically proscribed to alleviate symptoms of a cold, allergies or respiratory tract infections.