Freddie Gibbs may be one of the most beloved street rappers of his generation, but he has mixed feelings about his music career.
In a candid talk to students at the University of California, Berkeley, Gangsta Gibbs admitted that he wishes he hadn’t committed himself to being a street rapper as it has brought him no shortage of headaches and no longer jibes with his current life as a family man.
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“I’ma tell you the truth, man, I wish that I could get up and rap about some other shit. I wish that I would’ve made a career of rapping about some funny shit or girls or comedic or any fucking thing but this shit,” he said.
“Every day I think about that. I wish I had a rap career […] that was not gangsta. I don’t want this shit for myself. I don’t want this shit for my son. I rap about this shit because it consumed me, it’s where I’m from, it’s what I was doing on the daily for two decades.”
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He added: “I don’t love it, I don’t love the streets. I don’t give a fuck about no street code, I don’t give a fuck about none of these n-ggas in the street. I don’t want y’all to think that I’m rapping about that shit ’cause I’m trying to glorify it; I’m really not.”
The 41-year-old even admitted that he feels “embarrassed” listening back to some of his old music: “I turn it off because I’m like, ‘Fuck, I don’t wanna talk about selling drugs.’ I can have that realization now because three children later, I’m a family man.”
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Gibbs, who scored an early deal with Interscope before being dropped and later found success as an independent artist, also explained that pressure from both the industry and fans pushed him towards embracing his drug-dealing past in his music.
“This industry will chew you up and spit you out,” he continued. “For the early part of my career, I thought this is what I had to rap about to make money. Who wants to hear Freddie Gibbs rapping about going to college and getting a degree?
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“My little brother’s a doctor. I don’t envy him because that’s my brother […] But I feel like he’s more of the shining star of our family than I am. I feel like I caught a lucky break [in music], to be honest.”
The Grammy-nominated rapper then opened about how “difficult” he finds the process of writing songs based on his real life due to the emotional toll it takes on him, as well as the fact that he has a young son who he doesn’t want to follow in his footsteps.
“I’ve really put my heart into this shit because I love rapping and I love making music, but a part of me every day wishes it was a different subject matter,” he said solemnly.
Gibbs’ candid monolog became even more emotional when he reflected on the “bullshit” that comes with being a gangsta rapper, despite its financial rewards.
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“It’s also brought me a lot of pain, it’s brought me a lot of bullshit. The rap game has brought me just as many enemies as the streets,” he said.
“I’ve had to fight people doing this job, shoot at muthafuckas, n-ggas shooting at me. This is a dangerous muthafucking job […] You can really get lost in that side of it.”
Gibbs then began to tear up as he said: “I feel like a survivor of that shit,” before he ended his speech.
The honest and heartfelt comments come shortly after the release of Freddie Gibbs’ latest project You Only Die 1nce, which found him touching on similar subjects and sentiments.
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“N-gga took loss after loss, friends leave when that check gone / Slept on, but a broken heart ain’t gon’ feed these kids / Yeah, I gotta have a talk with God ’bout all the things I did, yeah (Yeah) / Drugs, aggravated robbery / Hurtin’ on the inside and hidin’ behind this tough shit and this misogyny / See, the man in the mirror ain’t gon’ lie to me,” he rapped on “Cosmo Freestyle.”
The ESGN founder also mourned the deaths of Young Dolph, Rich Homie Quan and Nipsey Hussle on the closing track “On the Set,” revealing that the latter’s 2019 murder almost made him quit rap.
